Why did i contact him. Why the fuck do i do this. That bastard showed me the ugly and explained to me at such a young age that this evil was part of me. I knew then as he explained about how its ok and it must be a secret. I remember the darkness in his face i can see clearly him the person others saw i could see him scared even horrified at the events. But i saw the darkness, the force that pushed him aside and brought this into play. Its almost as if fate was attempting to show me the way. Explain to me at such an age where i misunderstood the signals i thought the pain i felt was to be feared, to not inflict but now i know the spectator should not be scared. I embrace but with aptitude and not such stupidity as that fool. They will not see any but the Dark Spectators shadow cast over there life.I do not hate you. I cannot.For it would mean i am nothing….a lie..just the bottom of nothingness maybe that is why i want to fill this hole inside me