I sit here waiting. Thinking as i chat with my inner self. Trying to understand and figure out where this unsatisfied emptyness came from. I want so badly to fill it. But with what? With pain,suffering and the eye candy and mental food that is control. I browse these apps looking for a victim, an unsuspecting female to capture with my words,lure with the provacative thoughts I have of them and what I would like to do with them, with there bodies there minds. But the sensational lust i have and cannot fill is growing i can feel it like an actual pain in my gut a churning of anger and need. I visualize each passing photo in my bonds i screenshot there pictures as he scribbles on them crewd childish scrawls he draws but i see what hes getting at. I feel what hes thinking i understand what it is he wants and i to want it. To watch him take control. I look up and realize its almost my turn for my haircut. I really lost track of time… O my i realize each time i become the spectator i lose more of myself. But secretly i want to be both and enjoy both.